Shameless.

Pissed off.

That's right. Pissed off.

I'm not pissed off for any reason, really. Just revelling in it, because I feel it rarely. Normally I am more annoyed than pissed off. More frustrated.

I feel, sometimes, a huge weight on me. The weight is my gender. Bizarre, isn't it? Normally I walk about blissfully unawares of the patriarchy the bellows alongside me. Sometimes I even question the extent of its existence (or perhaps ponder the presence of the matriarchy alongside it). But right now its growling and smoking and I can smell it.

I have a urinary tract infection. When stuff goes in my vagina, bacteria goes with it. I am not dirty. I am not unhygienic. I have a urethra, and it is short. And because of this I have to pay for any little lovely act I might like to commit (or that others might like me to commit).

I know this has nothing to do with patriarchy. Not in a learned/nurture sense. My urethra is not short and susceptible to infection because our society is male dominated. In fact, our society is probably male dominated in part because women's urethrae are shorter.

I hate that I'm expected to be on the pill. I hate that my friend's boyfriend is allowed to slap her ass. I hate that so many of my friends have been raped. I hate how men make the products that I use to sop up my menses. And write "Have a happy period" on them.

And I hate that when people read this they will think "Stupid over-exaggerating feminist."